Friday, January 28, 2011


I share a Heavenletters post with you today...

God said:
If there were no attachment, there would not be suffering. If you could take even death of beloved ones in your stride, where would attachment live? Because of Human attachment, you think something terrible has happened when a loved one dies. You mourn the whole concept of death of the body, as if the existence of the body were everything. I know that death of the body is big for you. I know that suffering is big for you.
Attachment is not the same as love, beloveds. Love transcends attachment. Love does not possess. Attachment is attachment. You have thought to yourself many times: "I cannot live without this person." That is attachment, beloveds.
Attachment makes your loved ones some kind of property, like a treasured gold coin that is your lucky piece. How could you go on without it? Of course, the gold coin is only representative of your good fortune. It is like a placebo. And so it is with your beloveds. You think they are necessary to you. You think they are the cause of your happiness, and in death or in leaving in any manner, they are the cause of your unhappiness. You put too much at stake upon their existence.
Oh, yes, of course, your loved ones are important, and they are important to you. Their being important to you isn't exactly the same as your being dependent on them. Your dependence is a thought you have attached yourself to. It is like luggage you carry. You attached a leash to a suitcase. You attach a chain to a loved one, a golden chain but a chain nevertheless.
Your life is dependent upon you, and your life is dependent upon Me. It is not dependent upon anyone else.
Go ahead and love for all you are worth, and be not attached. Attachment says there is something you HAVE to have. It seems brutal to you to say that you don't have to have your mother or father or husband or wife or son or daughter, yet that is the case. Love is not bounded. Love is not a lasso. Love exists on another plane. Deep inside, you really know that. Deep inside, you know that love is more than worldly. Deep down, you know that love is much more than ownership.
Being connected to a loved one is not the same as being attached. Two souls meet, and if souls had eyes, I would say that their eyes lit up in recognition. The souls lit up in recognition of the blessing each would bestow upon the other. With love, there is no list of demands. Love exacts no requirements. Love does not become attached. Love lets go. Love removes all the cages from the heart of man and the heart of woman. Love removes cages.
The one you love is not to be put in a cage. Your love is to free him. And if your loved one flies away to another country or to another dimension, you give your loved one the gift of freedom. Free as a bird, your loved one flies away to his destiny. Bid him adieu.
You send your child off to school, and you blow kisses. And if your child should leave the planet Earth, then it is for you to blow kisses the same.
You can love without attachment, beloveds. When you are without attachment, you will not have losses. Life on Earth will not hit you over the head. You will not have blows in life. There will be goodbyes, but not blows. There will be love extending beyond all borders.

Keep these true, simple words with you as you go about your day.  Blow kisses, send hugz on wings and know that you are never alone and you will never be left behind.

LuvNHugz - SupportNPrayerz

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Did you know...

that life as you know it can change in a heartbeat?  It's a split moment in time that all the plans you had made or thought to make can be altered irretrievably.  Having a baby, getting a promotion, sickness, death.  Any number of things can happen without warning, without cause and it's up to us to move on and live with it.
The only things I can guarantee you about life is that it will change, and that you really have no control over it.  God has control.  He has plans for us.  He has created us, numbering our days and knowing what He wants for us to experience.  He gives us free will so that we might have these experiences and make the choices to live our lives.  He gives us each day and it's challenges so that we might grow and share in the glories of what He can do.
Looking back on what I have in my life so far I wouldn't change a thing.  The losses have been hard to bear and difficult to understand, but I don't need to bear them on my own, nor do I need to understand them today.  Someday the pieces will all fit together perfectly and when I'm in the glorious company of our Lord I won't question why my life was the way it was I will just know that it was perfect.
Why?  Well, why not?  Every moment as it is makes you who you are.  Your strength comes from your weaknesses past, your knowledge comes from what you learned, your wisdom comes from putting it all together.  Take your experiences and reach out to someone else that is where you were.  Your life changes every minute, every day... sometimes it's just more drastically than other times.
LuvNHugz - SupportNPrayerz
Deo Volente...

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A Time For Everything

Sunday's sermon was on Ecclesiastes 3, a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.  I've mentioned that I feel great things coming.  I've not mentioned that I feel changes coming that will be difficult to bear.  I feel the shadow of death is near.  Coming for my grandparents?  Possibly.  A dear friend or other family member?  Possibly.  The unique thing about death is that it shows no prejudice.  It comes to the young, old, weak, strong, healthy, sick, it comes to everyone at some time.  This makes me sad.  I have no idea who I'll be missing, or maybe they'll be missing me.  I do know that God is placing His arm around me and guiding me to be prepared.  Are you ready for death?  Ever?  No, not really.  I am feeling a calmness around me, though.  I've been carrying this feeling in my heart, a weight in my chest.  I've accepted that I have no say in what's about to happen, no way to deter it, but I can be calm in my wait.  Shedding tears and turning it over to the Lord because I have no power over the seasons in life and it's all up to Him anyway.
What a strange thing to write about.
Again, it's another reason why I'm here.  It's another of those feelings that I've had that I need to express in some way.  Pen to paper doesn't work for me, and this blog this is actually working in a strange way.  Have you thought of all the details that death makes you cover.  Your family (kids especially) and who's going to take care of them.  Your spouse, if you leave them alone do you want them to find another help meet to some day step in and help with the things you're leaving undone.  Your possessions, they're just things, but all the same someone has to something about them.  Obviously I'd want Jayme to do the best he can with our kiddos, knowing that he'll have plenty of help around via family and friends, I'm sure he'll do just fine.  Moving on someday would so be an option, I don't think he could go it alone for long.  If something should happen to both of us I'd hope that the kiddos would find their way to a loving home like TNB's.  Sadly not within our immediate family, but between his family and mine I don't think they could work together well enough to keep the kids best interests in mind.  TN would have a huge adjustment, but there's no doubt that they could do it.  My stuff, ha, it's just stuff.  Save a few little things for the kids somewhere down the line, but as for the rest of it, it'd be gone if the house burnt down, so I'm sure that they could live without the junk cluttering up their lives.
Wow, it's so weird.  It's not right to be thinking about these things but that's life for you.  I've said I have no idea what to expect, I just know that I should be expecting something.  We all should though.  There are no guarantees for tomorrow, no guarantees for tonight or an hour from now.  It's a harsh truth, but a simple one.  Live each day like it's your last?  Maybe just maybe, that's the only thing we can do.  Do not put off until tomorrow what you can get done today.  Unsaid words, unshared hugs, unfelt love, unforgiven hurts, at some point it could be too late and you can't go back.  While you have the golden opportunity in your hands take advantage of it.  I'm not asking you to do it for someone else, do it for you.  Do it because you deserve a bright shining, joyous, spectacular life.  If you're carrying around hurts and picking at old wounds, set them down and leave them heal.  If someone has hurt you time and time again, I'm not telling you to forgive them and let them back in, but forgive them and move on.  Write the letter, fold it, put it in the envelope and mail it through the burn pile.  Really.  It's funny, but it's simple.  Forgiveness not given is like taking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.  Again, harsh but true.
Tell the people that really matter how much you care.  Shout to the heavens of your love.  The people that have hurt you only have power if you let them, so take it away.  Hug everyone, yup, everyone.  If you care share the power that a hug holds, it's amazing what a simple hug can do.  Live your life for you.  Live your life with the strength and power that is deep inside you.  This life is God's gift to you, it is up to you to decide how to use it.  The best life lived glorifies the Lord every day.  So next time you're vacuuming, thank the Lord for carpet and electricity.  Next time you're getting gas, thank the Lord for places to be and people to see.  It's the mindless mundane things that get us down, but they're just as important as the big moments, if not more so because God's just as present in the small stuff as anywhere else.
Read Ecclesiastes 3 if you would, take a moment to consider the ebb and flow of time around you.  A time to sow and a time to reap, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to love and a time to hate.  Everyone eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil - this is the gift of God.  The highs and the lows, the breathtaking moments that memories are made of and the blood, sweat and tears that build up our strength.  A time for everything, everything in it's time.
Deo Volente...
LuvNHugz ~ SupportNPrayerz to you all!!!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The task...

...ahead of you is never so great as the power within you.  It's another translation of the Philippians Bible verse I have listed on here.  I have a business card with those words on it.  I have no idea where it came from.  Maybe one of my boys got it at school, maybe I saw it at the store and bought it (though I do NOT remember that) wherever it came from I stumbled across it here at home one day.  I carried it around in my pocket for several days and then it's been laying on my bathroom vanity ever since.
Do you have any idea how powerful those words are?  I've heard the verse before and had it highlighted in my bible even.  Still, I was clueless to the power of those words.  I've been reading them daily for weeks it seems and the peace I have is wondrous.
I've said before that I feel changes coming.  I feel the imminence of greatness.  I'm blessed beyond belief but the things I feel coming I can't even describe.  I'm so blessed and awestruck that I really have no needs.  Nope, not in the usual sense of the word.  With that view I have no all consuming wants either.  Not anymore.  I have everything.  How so? Easy, I have:
Faith, a sense of security that even though I have choices in my life the details are handled my the grand master.  He is always at my call, He is always beside me and only because of Him and through Him is everything gonna be alright.
Family, connections and relationships.  I have the people that I was born connected to that I share ancestry with.  Those that I married to, my husband and the rest of his family are now mine as well.  Yet, those that are mine through my heart.  The ones that I have to blood ties to, no claim through name, but those that with my heartstrings are sisters and brothers in every sense of the word.
Home, it's not just a house.  It could be an apartment, camper, tent or even cave in the hillside.  It's knowing that I belong right here, right now, as I am.  It's accepting everything that God has given me and loving it.
Hope, knowledge that there is so much more.  Knowing that if my house burned to the ground tomorrow, it's only a building.  Knowing that if something happens to me or a loved one, there is life beyond today.  Knowing that the although road is long, winding and even rough, there are green pastures, mountain peaks and rainbows waiting for me along the way.
Love, is love.  If God is for us, who can be against us?  There is no greater love than that!
I don't know where you come from or who you are.  What I know is that it took me a LONG time to figure this stuff out.  I wasn't always content with who I am.  My past was full of sad and lonely days that I really just didn't know what to expect.  I always tried to look at the glass half full, but it wasn't easy some days.  It's different now.  Why?  I'm not really sure.  Some say it's like a switch was turned on and everything is just different one day.  I don't really know that.  I do know that surrounding myself with appropriate people and opening my eyes to see the possibilities has made a difference.  Taking time to be thankful for all of it.  Yes, all of it.  The awesome ups and the sadness in the lows.  Without being thankful for the 3 miscarriages I had I am in no way able to be thankful for my five precious blessings.  Opening your eyes to the reality that you should be thankful for EVERYTHING you have and lived through makes it easier to be thankful for the beauty in your life.
If you're not deliriously happy with the right now life you're living how will you be able to be happy later?  I'm not asking you to never get frustrated or lose your cool.  I'm not telling you that it's not gonna happen.  I'm just asking you to take a deep breath at those times and if you have those moments more often than not, do some reevaluating in your life.  Consider these next words.  "You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself the big questions: Is that okay? Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." ~Jim Rohn
This is YOUR life.  Take comfort that you're not alone.  Live the life you deserve because you're worth it!  Besides, with God everything is possible!!! 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Work, work, work.  Really it's not that bad.  If you're not doing something you love do something about it.  Really, it is that simple.  I heard or read this saying - if you have time to complain about it, you have time to do something about it.  Okay, so dream within the realm of possibility.  I know that's a damper, but don't dream of something all the while thinking that it's impossible.  Those thoughts immediately negate the dreams that way.  You can't dream of being an astronaut if you're not willing to do the work that goes with said dream
No one LOVES doing laundry, dishes, changing diapers and hunting down missing socks.  It's my job though and so I do love it in my own way.  I didn't dream of it when I was growing up, those were the owning a zoo days.  How can I love it then?  Easy, God gave me a husband (pretty easy being married to him - most days) and five delightful kiddos, He has given me so much, how can I not enjoy it.  Not everyone has these things, some people get gifts like these only for a short time.  So I will enjoy the loads of laundry, sinkful of dishes, Sharpie drawings on the walls, grocery lists, sleepless nights and muddy messes.
I think along these lines alot lately.  My parents are in the middle of a divorce, middle because it's been almost a year since they decided to take that route and there is no end in sight.  I watched them live for years looking over the fence and wondering why others had so much and we had so little.  Amazingly I didn't think they had so little.  They had a house over their head, vehicles to drive, jobs to go to, family to connect with - if and when they wanted to, hobbies and it seemed that if they wanted something they simply went and bought it.  In a way it was always obvious they didn't have what they wanted.  They didn't have appreciation or gratitude for what was.  My brother and I both knew from a very early age that we were mistakes.  Mistakes, not surprises, MISTAKES.  My dad was always quite willing to tell us this fact and make sure we were completely aware of what he sacrificed for us.  Drinking or not, he was an unhappy man that couldn't accept responsibility for living his life.  My mom was just willing to let it be and remain at status quo, probably safer that way.  Having the ability to complain about life and what it hands you is something all of us have.  We all also have the ability to accept responsibility of this life and do with it whatever we want.
At some point in life the sentence - you can be whatever you want to be - is the simple truth.  Yes, if you're told you're worthless and you'll never be anything but trouble, you could possibly end up that way.  Just remember these are the decisions you're making.  No one forces you to drop out of school, sleep with your boyfriend and get pregnant, break into the grocery store just the same as no one can force you to get straight A's, attend college and start your own business.  These things are all choices you make for yourself.  I can tell you that when someone is tearing you down to build themselves up it's far more satisfying to prove them wrong than to prove them right.

Work by definition is activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.  So no matter what you're doing typing, video games, getting a soda from the fridge, eating your favorite candy, driving, really anything you do at all, is work.  Sometimes we call it playing, hunting, relaxing, socializing and looking at it from that point of view it's all about perspective.  God gives us the freedom to choose.  He tells us His expectations and yet gives us the freedom to live our lives exactly as we choose.
Life is work, work is life.  Enjoy it, work or life, whatever you want to call it.  Find a way to enjoy it.  Do what you love, love what you do.  If you can't go to bed happy for the day you had and wake up happy for the day ahead of you, do some work to change it.  Don't settle for status quo if you don't want it.  Dream of the possibilities, focus on the greats in your life and let your world revolve around that.  The hows will come together once you're dreaming of what it really is you want.  Dreams do come true, sometimes they just take a little work too.  Can't win the jackpot if you don't buy the ticket.
Ahh, dream home, job and salary.  I know you're out there waiting for me, I'm on my way.  Just keep in mind I have a dream home (the first one we bought for our family), job (wife, mom, friend and faithful servant) and salary (hugz, kisses and grace) so I guess I've already got it made!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Really, this feels amazing.  I will miss my regular computer because I think that making these posts via Sami Smartphone just won't be as easy to do, we'll try though because so far this feels amazing.  What does?  Putting this out there.  Handwriting a journal in a notebook is very comforting for some people.  I totally get that.  I just can't make myself do it.  Honestly, you have no idea how many times I've tried to start one.  This though, I can do.  Typing is easy and fast for me.  Putting it on a public forum is kinda questionable, but in a way it holds me more accountable.
Knowing that it's out there is really helping me believe in it.  Being grateful for the stuff I have, that can be fairly easy most days.  MOST days.  It's really easy to get all bummed out and blahey about the snow tracked in the house and vacuuming the living room AGAIN today or even knowing that there are 50 loads of laundry (okay 15) waiting in the laundry room.  Nope, I don't like folding and putting away the laundry either.  Anyway, it's so easy to get wrapped up in the blahs of life.  This is a fun way to keep myself accountable for the fun in life.  Yeah, a ton of laundry but I have this amazing family that I'm happy to have so I'll keep doing the laundry and washing the dishes.
Just be positive.  Feel it in your heart that the great stuff now and the better than you imagined stuff is still coming.  I feel like my life has many twists and turns ahead and weirdly I've shed several tears in the last week dealing with the possibilities of what may be.  I've also had several conversations with the Lord letting Him know that I'm ready.  Ready for whatever He has headed my way.  I don't understand it now, won't understand it for probably a LONG time, but I'm ready.  I KNOW that He's not gonna leave me hanging and I'm not gonna be left alone on this path that I'm on.  So chin up and lovin' my life, here I am.
Dreaming of that DREAM HOUSE - you have no idea how awesome it is.  AND, it's the perfect fit for us.  Plenty of space for all of us AND guests.  Already planning on who's coming to stay with us first.  It'll be the perfect refuge for us when we need it and also the best party place around.  The how's of it all, I'm leaving to the planning center upstairs.  He keeps the universe in order, He'll handle this too.  :o)  LOVE IT!!!
As it goes, keep on keeping on.  Enjoy it, whatever it is.  There are days that it's SOOOOO hard to find the joy.  Look for it.  Dig deep.  It's there, waiting, loving you.  It's all in the details, the smallest most microscopic little thing that you might miss otherwise, but it's there all the same.
Smile y'all - LuvNHugz!!

Let's try this...

Smartphone and blog together you will test my dedication. :0)
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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Feel It

Feel it.  Dream it.  Know it.  Don't question it.  It what?  That thing that you're dreaming of.  Know in your heart that it's coming.  What am I dreaming of?  My dream home and the income to go with it.  How will it come about?  What hoops will I have to jump thru?  Ummm, I don't know and I don't care.  I know that the Lord will provide these things for me so long as I listen to Him and trust in His ways.  It falls away as I try to figure out the details and make my plans.  Why?  Simply because my plans are no where as miraculous, precious and awe inspiring as those of the Lord.
As it goes today I'm going to turn it over.  I'm going to dream of the what and start enjoying it now because God will provide it to me in only the way He can.  I'll leave the details to Him.  Don't make life too hard, let it be.  Live as you are, love every detail, do all of it to glorify Him.
LuvNHugz y'all!!

Saturday, January 8, 2011


Where to begin?  That is the question.  Maybe the answer too.  2011 is filled with promise for me.  I can feel it in my bones that it will be a great year.  I have a husband that is wonderful and 5 equally precious children.  The things I feel coming to us this year are amazing.  What specifically they are I don't know, I just know that we're going to be blessed in ways we never thought possible and had only dreamed of.
Then again I never thought I'd have 5 kids and this amazing life, just dreamt of the possibilities that God would provide!  I go around each day taking all that we have and experience and it continually amazes me just how great God is.  The wrinkled nose, ornery grins.  Wouldn't exchange them for anything in the world.  Drafty old farmhouse, home, wouldn't want anything else.  It's ours, these are the gifts that God has trusted us with.  Gifts that He knows how we can use them.  Again, amazed - every day!
I also feel in my deepest heart and soul that there are changes to happen that won't exactly be easy either.  Be it from the drama of my parent's divorce or who knows, I can feel it deep down that I'm on a path that will test my truest heart.  Right now, I just keep asking the Lord to take the burden of wonder and worry from my shoulders.  Keep praying for the strength to get me around the bend in the rough waters ahead.
I know that the Lord will provide everything I need in the days, weeks and months to come so I have come here to write it all down.  I don't have the follow thru to write it in a notebook.  I don't have the guts to talk to even my best friend about it.  Really, how do explain something so unreal but real at the same time.  Like I said, I don't know why I'm here, other than that something told me to 'go and tell'.  If no one ever reads this or, several people do, I just feel 'told' to do it.  I have not always done well at listening to what He told me, but I'm trying harder lately to be obedient.
There are little signs that He's given me that have pointed me here.  In the littlest details of my days I have noticed that He is preparing me for something.  I also feel pulled to share my story of love, life and hope.  As the days come and go, I'm sure I won't be here daily, but I will come and tell.  I will share more of my stories as they seem necessary.
As I have started I also know that there is plenty more to my day besides this.  So off I go to laundry, dishes, tickle wars, giggle fests and whatever else that I accomplish on my to-do list.  Take time to do those small life making memories.  Laundry will always be piled in the baskets, dishes will always be waiting on the counter but tickle wars and giggle fests are the most important chores you can do with your kids!
LuvNHugz ~ SupportNPrayerz ~ NMV