Friday, February 1, 2013

Takin' Five on Friday - Afraid

Got five minutes? Let’s write. Let’s finger paint with words –>{click to tweet}.
Let’s just write and not worry if it’s just right or not. Here’s how to play along:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my blog footer}
3. Go leave some comment props for the five minute artist who linked up before you {and if you love us, consider turning off word verification for the day to make it easier for folks to say howdy}
It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week.
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When I saw the post in my email this morning, what did I do/think you wonder.  I ignored it.  Huh, fear?  Afraid of who?  Afraid of what?  Okay, seriously, I'm a ostrich with my head in the sand.
And here is what literally just smacked me up side 'da head!

3:39
Holley and Lisa Jo, I thank you.  Here's what I just figured out.  As soon as Holley started talking about God sized dreams I quit reading her emails.  They showed up in my inbox right on schedule and they have stayed there.  Why?  I don't know, ahem didn't know, until five minutes ago.
Here's what I'm afraid of.  Being "seen".
What's my God sized dream?  Oh, it's a doozy, but if I acknowledge it, then it becomes real and I have to face it.  So, let me run scared, NOW!!!!
What's my daily desire?  Godly love, peace and contentment within the walls of this house.  Where does that start?  With me.  How's it going?  Hah, yeah, I'll let you know tomorrow.
What do I aspire to?  Sharing my Health and Wellness company with everyone I interact with.  Do I do it?  Nope.  Too afraid to share it, even though the impact is priceless.
Being successful, being seen, putting myself out there.  It scares me silly.  For years my family drilled into me that I wasn't good enough, wouldn't be good enough, couldn't be good enough.  So much so that I'm actually scared to try to be.
3:44

WOW!!   Thank you Lisa Jo for helping me realize what wall I had hit.  I knew it was there didn't have a clue how to get out of this invisible box.  I have been dealing with family drama and knew it was bogging me down.  I just never knew how much it still tied me in place.
I deserve to acknowledge my God Sized Dream, big and scary as it may be.  Godly love, peace and contentment, well, that's ours for the enjoying.   To build a WAHM business and help the women, men and children that God places in my path to achieve health, wellness and freedom?  That's not just for me, that's for all you others out there too that deserve all that amazing stuff too.
This blog?  Well, I should come more regularly and capture these things.  These moments, these thoughts, this is the stuff my life is made of.  My faith-steps and foot-prints.  Why be afraid of myself here.  This is my safe space.  The space that if God sends someone over, there is a reason.
I am enough.  Enough to face the moments of being afraid and knowing that God is right here too, wanting me to stretch, dream, share and go, relying on Him as my guide.  Nothing to be afraid of.

LuvNHugz - SupportNPrayerz
DV-NMV

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