Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Thoughts, words, comments, that what it is lately.  Ramblings jumping from one topic to the next.  From one concern to another random joy moment.  I have yet to finish my OTG book.  I already lent it out.  Go figure, now I feel like I'm suffering from withdrawals.  Withdrawals from the peace that Ann and the Bloom group members' words bring to me. 
I love not feeling so very alone anymore.  I realize now that I was.  I live in a full house surrounded by friends, family and the rest of my world but I was lost.  Overwhelmed by all these gifts from God and not even seeing them as such.  I was seeing them as obstacles to come through.  I was attempting to be grateful for all these gifts but instead of feeling God's warm loving light radiating from them I was standing in the shadows they cast.
I was also missing this.  I haven't been taking my time with Him to reflect and capture my thoughts either.  My list will begin to grow again, my focus is once again recentered on the one thing truly important.  Living a life to glorify God.
This way when I share my words I won't feel slighted when someone loses the article or clicks on past my link.  I do this for Him, I want this for me so that I do what I do for Him.  Encouraging words, a supporting presence, comforting touches, I do them for Him because He loves me unconditionally and does the same for those around me.  Let me have a servant heart that I might show others that same unconditional love.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

OTG - 9

Entitled...oh how easy it is to feel so.  Without thought my entitled attitude shines through in even the smallest moments of my day.  It adds validation to my 'poor martyr me' feelings.  I am amazed to look back through my days, weeks, months and see it for what it was.  That is humbling, knowing that I brought a lot of anguish and hurt feelings upon myself.  It is interesting to watch my actions with my children and see them for what they are and how I'm teaching them the same bad habits without even realizing what's happening.
Only self can kill joy...humbly let go of having 'my way' and let God do things His way.  He does after all have my best interests at heart being a good God giving of endless gifts in love.  These words from Ann's heart to mine are enough to wake me up, yet again, from the dark corners where my mind was sleeping and missing out on all the gifts I'm surrounded by.  Thanx, Ann!!!
'Thy will be done', oh what beautiful words.  Deo Volente - the Latin phrase for 'God's will be done' I learned this and it is a sentiment that I include it in many things that I write.  I pray quite often for God's will instead of health, safe travels, rest or whatever it may be.  For He knows even the number of hairs on my head, and anything that should happen to me not without the will of my Father.  Same as that of my children and dearest friends.  What wonderful comfort I can take in that.  Let me use that knowledge to find the smallest of joys in a blessing filled life.
Praying with my eyes wide open, hands cupped and open for Him to fill.  Not just my cup runneth over but the saucer is flooded and running over as well.  No to expectations, no to entitlement, no to being alone.  Yes to God, yes to what was, what is and what is to come.  Yes to eucharisteo, yes, yes, yes...  I can do ALL things through Him that strengthens me, because He is a good God providing all that I have.  A great God that I will bend low to praise and raise up my hands in prayers to.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

OTG - 8

Romans 8:31-32

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

This chapter has me pondering.  I read it, dwelled on it, read it again, pondered, read the comments for the book club post and mulled over everything some more.
Ann said so much and she said it all beautifully and thought provokingly.  I don't know what else to say.  The verse I quoted above just brings me to my knees.  I often remind myself that if God is for me then who can be against me, I already have the best of the best in my corner.
Being reminded that He sacrificed His son for me is also quite heart stopping!!  Really, if He would do that what else wouldn't He do for me.  THAT is unconditional love...nothing, NOTHING, compares to that.
Short this time around, probably not so lucky next time.   Bahamas

A quiver full?!?!?!

This is my response to someone else's writing.  I felt compelled to save it here and share my heart with you.  Smile, yes you should, it's a beautiful thing!!

Okay...I read this when it was first shared by Ann Voskamp and have stopped by again to connect with you again.  Can I say I laughed so hard at the you know what causes that question and response.  Belly laughed first and I'm still smiling thinking about it.  Anyway, we have five tornados tearing through the house every day with three loved pipsqueaks waiting in heaven for us.  I didn't plan on a large family and didn't really 'leave it to God' either if I really think about it.  I did know that whatever I had and when was really God's will though, not mine.  How do I know this?  We were given the surprise of expecting our first within two months of our first date...yup the first time we 'connected' (heehee) God had plans for us.  The wedding we had (already) talked about was moved ahead by a year so that he was able to come home to us together.  A couple of years later when we were ready for another we had our first miscarriage on Valentine's day.  Told to wait 3-6 months before we "tried again", led us to having a Christmas gift in the form of a howling boy proving to me that while I vowed not to spend Christmas in the hospital it really isn't up to me.
Then again we thought we could have another us two more pregnancies and now angels in heaven.  All the while my head spins at what is life as I know it.  We have the blessing of b/g twins in 2008 which lead everyone to ask if we're done, to which I say 'if God thinks so...' because at that point I had learned that if you want to hear laughter you tell God your plans.  No, I am serious here.  I was always quite relieved that my boys were three years apart and thought it a blessing that the twins were a bit over four years after number two.  I had no idea how people functioned with kiddos 12, 15, 18 months apart.  Hence my take on God's laughter.  After the duo arrived DH made his doctor appointment to take care of things on his end.  Laughingly I came to bed one night to share the news of the day like we always do.  I said oh guess who's gonna be having a baby...he named some of our friends and I said oh not that I know of but we are.  His face was priceless!!  The duo and number five are 14 months apart and I still have NO IDEA how we function either...hahahaha.
So just goes to show that birth control, avoiding DH or whatever you try, you could end up with another gift from God.  Also goes to show that you can try for years every possible option to get pregnant and not.  It's so not up to us.  I saw a earlier post that the woman feels slighted because her hubby went and got 'fixed' without her blessing, but dear love you're not listening to his heart any better than he did to yours.  Those surgeries don't guarantee anything, I know this because my DH doctor warned us when he had his done.  Who knows what He has planned for us!?!?!?  I am a true believer that ALL children are a gift from the Lord.  Planned, surprise, number one, number five, IVF, miscarried, preemie, disabled...ALL life comes through Him and only because He gifts it to us that way.
So the earlier poster that said if all you see is what isn't there then you're not seeing what is there.  I will agree with you there, kinda like not seeing the forest for the trees in the way.  The number doesn't matter because honestly we don't control it.  We might think we do, but let me laugh at you because I've learned that He was laughing at me once, but now I've learned to laugh WITH Him.  Every single one of us Christian hearted should take time to remember that He has plans for us, those which we cannot fathom nor understand and He does the same for our neighbors, brothers and sisters in Christ, that we don't forget to support each other whatever may come.
It's not about me or you, it's about Him.  It's not about thumping the Bible and quoting "quiver full" because that means different things to all of us.  I don't just see it as procreation in my house but I also feel that it's about filling His quiver with His family, adopting them to bring them home, volunteering to give them His love or becoming a shepherd so that we might gather them and guard them from the dark of night.  We are His children and so let us fill His quiver, it is our responsibility to glorify Him in ALL that we do.
As you go about your day keep that in mind.  I think any one of us could find offense to something written here...even my words I'm sure.  God's gift to us is free will and We each use it differently but please keep in mind that if you haven't something nice to say maybe you shouldn't say it.  It is quite sad when we call ourselves Christians but let Satan run off with our tongue.  Life is not easy, doesn't have to be when I have support from my beautiful friends like you!!!
Deo Volente to you that share His quiver with me...
LuvNHugz - SupportNPrayerz
NMV in Iowa

Thursday, March 3, 2011

OTG - 7

The well is always there and I choose not to see it...will the complaining, exasperation, anger, yelling and resentment really get me where I want to go faster and provide me with more than joy and eucharisteo will???
These are the words rolling around in my head after this chapter.  It might have been a day in my life, the way Ann started sharing the ugly eucharisteo moment in her kitchen.  With five crazy amazing kiddos surrounding me each day we have those moments.  I love seeing how all of our families really are quite similar.  I love how Ann is willing to share her family's ugly eucharisteo moment with the rest of us.  It reminds me that everyone has these ugly eucharisteo moments not just us in our house in grand old Iowa.
It also reminds me that Satan is hard at work distracting us from the beauty in our day.  He (Satan) would much prefer the angry words, hurting hearts and solitary sadness to the prayers with eyes wide open and unending eucharisteo.  It is with Ann's encouraging words and my new friends that I'm finding the strength to see those moments just as they are...only toast...only a cry for hug...only a need for a quiet talk between just the two of us.  I am starting a new routine today.  When those moments arise I'm going to tell myself 'be quick to love, faster to hug and eager to recognize the eucharisteo'.  The knowledge of these beautiful moments coming my way is enough to brighten my day!
While my list is slow to grow I'm taking the time to capture the ugly and hard things on it too.  Those too are what make up my life, it is my responsibility to be grateful for each precious detail of that life.  On my list today I include my fellow book clubbers because with only my fancy schmancy smartphone I cannot watch the vimeo recordings so your comments give me the extra ponderings that would I miss out on until I get back onto a computer.  Thanks Ann, you are changing the world one heart at a time, many blessings on you and yours!