Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Devotion - January

In the three weeks since I've stepped into the "one word" world I'm finding myself becoming more aware of life in general.  It's truly the oddest thing, I think. I chose "devotion" because I knew I need to work on that in many areas of life.  Apparently it was a good choice. In my quest to show more devotion in the things I do, the relationships I have and to my Father I am exploring a world of awareness.
I am off on my own for the next four days, no kids, no husband, no animals, no chores. Me, myself and I. This is a very weird place to be. Sure during the day I will be at post office training for the rural carrier position I now hold but from 4pm to 7am the Tuesday through Thursday nights I am ON MY OWN.
I have spent the last couple hours pondering things. Again, I chose the word devotion but it truly is leading me into awareness. I also stepped into a journey with my LemonDrop Lounge family to do some prayer and fasting. Let me be bluntly honest here, I SUCK at the prayer side of things. Miserably, sadly I will admit it. I have been hit or miss to get my devotion done every morning. Mostly miss on having devoted prayer time throughout my day. Though I have hit this "fast" on the head. I struggled with what to go with and ended up fasting from all beverages beyond water. This is a stretch for me as I LOVE my milk with meals, tea is a great thing to have a cup of some day. When I eat out is generally my only opportunity to treat myself to a soda or some other sweet beverage. I'm eating out for the next three days...and I'm quite okay with not missing out on anything.
While I may be horrible at having devoted prayer times I am pretty great about having a running conversation with God through the day.  It's what works for me.  I am working on adding the prayer time/meditation time to my day and what I am getting done I am really enjoying.
God is set to do great things for any of us if we simply set forth trusting in Him.  Scary honest here, I was so filled with trepidation about getting this post office job.  In my gut it did not feel right.  I was nervous, anxious, seriously questioned if I was doing the right thing.  Early in the process I did turn it over to my Father and told Him that "if it is meant to be then carry me on through the tests, training and work days."  To His credit He has done exactly that.  My husband is home alone with five kids, managing before school, after school, homework, lunch packing and bedtime for the first time ever.  I am here focusing on me.
Exactly what I needed.  I also heard the absolute best news this week that truly shines His amazing love in my life as well.  He is providing for me and my family in amazing ways.  He is stretching me in ways that I never dreamt possible.
Through the scary moments, the beautiful moments, the lonely moments, the joyful moments, through ALL THE MOMENTS this life is sending me, I will show Him my devotion because in all His amazing and grace giving ways, He deserves nothing less.
I'll be back tomorrow - because I can!  It's so GREAT!!


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