Where do we go from here? Is it moving on or starting over when one of life’s harsh realities has completely rocked your world? Rebuilding your home after a fire, flood or tornado, what do you do first? Starting again as a single individual instead of a half of a married couple after a divorce, where to turn. Stepping out on life’s path after a loved one is gone, where do I go from here?
Sometimes the days are endless and the moments of trial are more like mountains than molehills. Sometimes the digging deep isn’t even close to enough to get you through. Sometimes the rainstorms in life are washing us away from everything we found solid in life. Even if we built our house on the rock we feel like we’re sinking into the sand.
I’ve said this before that 2011 was going to be a year that would be difficult to bear. I started this blog so that I might be able to journal my journey through life. I’m not being a pessimistic Peggy here, I’m just voicing what my gut has been telling me and what I’ve been feeling led to prepare for. I am usually very happy to find the sunshine and rainbows dancing through the rain clouds and will happily stomp through the mud puddles giggling and laughing.
This has been a rough week and as I took a moment to really think about all that’s going on around me this is what I realized. A beautiful 18 year old lost her life last Wednesday, a school friend lost his life on Saturday, my “little sister’s” old roommate took her own life yesterday. That’s enough to shatter my heart because I know their “stories”. I also keep in mind my BF’s MIL that’s battling cancer having been given “two months”, my distant cousin that’s been battling cancer for years that is still visiting with doctors about what to try next. The ones living through the hard moments of life, the ones wondering what tomorrow will bring, pain or relief. I’m not just thinking about these things, but also the student struggling in school because for some it’s just really hard to get this reading, writing and concentration figured out. I even love hard on the child born with the life altering disabilities that prevent her from ever taking a step on her own two feet. The wreck that takes away his freedom, leaving him dependent upon a wheelchair to get from here to there for the rest of his days.
They’re everywhere we look the pain, suffering, aching hearts and sad faces. It’s hard not to see it, it’s also hard to look deep into it and look for the beauty and grace that God gives us in these lives. Where do we go when our plans are crumpled in the storms of life leaving us to only imagine how we can start again? Coming out of the blurry daze and confusion that comes from having the rug pulled right from beneath your feet.
Seems that the only thing I can think to do is turn to Him. The One who has arms open wide, ready and willing to be our rock. He is a good God, a God that only wants the best and beautiful for us. It’s hard to believe that on those days when the rain is falling all around you and your comfort zone is washed away with the raging rapids of change. He is my rock, the comfort zone that never moves, He is the shelter from life’s storms and raging seas. Through Him all things work together for the greater good, the greatest purpose. It is through those moments that I need to remember to glorify Him in all of it. He knows the plans He has for me. He loves me unconditionally even though I am me. We see all the little pieces of these lives on earth, and He sees the whole picture. Ahhh, I think I’ll take comfort in that, and “going on” with Him by my side.
LuvNHugz - DV-NMV