Sunday's sermon was on Ecclesiastes 3, a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. I've mentioned that I feel great things coming. I've not mentioned that I feel changes coming that will be difficult to bear. I feel the shadow of death is near. Coming for my grandparents? Possibly. A dear friend or other family member? Possibly. The unique thing about death is that it shows no prejudice. It comes to the young, old, weak, strong, healthy, sick, it comes to everyone at some time. This makes me sad. I have no idea who I'll be missing, or maybe they'll be missing me. I do know that God is placing His arm around me and guiding me to be prepared. Are you ready for death? Ever? No, not really. I am feeling a calmness around me, though. I've been carrying this feeling in my heart, a weight in my chest. I've accepted that I have no say in what's about to happen, no way to deter it, but I can be calm in my wait. Shedding tears and turning it over to the Lord because I have no power over the seasons in life and it's all up to Him anyway.
What a strange thing to write about.
Again, it's another reason why I'm here. It's another of those feelings that I've had that I need to express in some way. Pen to paper doesn't work for me, and this blog this is actually working in a strange way. Have you thought of all the details that death makes you cover. Your family (kids especially) and who's going to take care of them. Your spouse, if you leave them alone do you want them to find another help meet to some day step in and help with the things you're leaving undone. Your possessions, they're just things, but all the same someone has to something about them. Obviously I'd want Jayme to do the best he can with our kiddos, knowing that he'll have plenty of help around via family and friends, I'm sure he'll do just fine. Moving on someday would so be an option, I don't think he could go it alone for long. If something should happen to both of us I'd hope that the kiddos would find their way to a loving home like TNB's. Sadly not within our immediate family, but between his family and mine I don't think they could work together well enough to keep the kids best interests in mind. TN would have a huge adjustment, but there's no doubt that they could do it. My stuff, ha, it's just stuff. Save a few little things for the kids somewhere down the line, but as for the rest of it, it'd be gone if the house burnt down, so I'm sure that they could live without the junk cluttering up their lives.
Wow, it's so weird. It's not right to be thinking about these things but that's life for you. I've said I have no idea what to expect, I just know that I should be expecting something. We all should though. There are no guarantees for tomorrow, no guarantees for tonight or an hour from now. It's a harsh truth, but a simple one. Live each day like it's your last? Maybe just maybe, that's the only thing we can do. Do not put off until tomorrow what you can get done today. Unsaid words, unshared hugs, unfelt love, unforgiven hurts, at some point it could be too late and you can't go back. While you have the golden opportunity in your hands take advantage of it. I'm not asking you to do it for someone else, do it for you. Do it because you deserve a bright shining, joyous, spectacular life. If you're carrying around hurts and picking at old wounds, set them down and leave them heal. If someone has hurt you time and time again, I'm not telling you to forgive them and let them back in, but forgive them and move on. Write the letter, fold it, put it in the envelope and mail it through the burn pile. Really. It's funny, but it's simple. Forgiveness not given is like taking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die. Again, harsh but true.
Tell the people that really matter how much you care. Shout to the heavens of your love. The people that have hurt you only have power if you let them, so take it away. Hug everyone, yup, everyone. If you care share the power that a hug holds, it's amazing what a simple hug can do. Live your life for you. Live your life with the strength and power that is deep inside you. This life is God's gift to you, it is up to you to decide how to use it. The best life lived glorifies the Lord every day. So next time you're vacuuming, thank the Lord for carpet and electricity. Next time you're getting gas, thank the Lord for places to be and people to see. It's the mindless mundane things that get us down, but they're just as important as the big moments, if not more so because God's just as present in the small stuff as anywhere else.
Read Ecclesiastes 3 if you would, take a moment to consider the ebb and flow of time around you. A time to sow and a time to reap, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to love and a time to hate. Everyone eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil - this is the gift of God. The highs and the lows, the breathtaking moments that memories are made of and the blood, sweat and tears that build up our strength. A time for everything, everything in it's time.
LuvNHugz ~ SupportNPrayerz to you all!!!