What a hard moment. To consider the death of a child and try to find the light of God at the same time. How is He a good God in those heart wrenching, earth moving moments? How do you feel the light of His love when you feel so alone?
Feel it by reaching out to Him. Feel it in those dark and lonely moments that He hasn't abandoned you, nor ever will, but that He is there. Just like when the lights go out at home and we have to feel with only our memory our way through the house to the candle drawer, rely on the moments and memories of all the days before. The moments when you were walking in the light of the Lord glorifying in all that was good and beautiful. Seek those moments, remember that while this is a hard time you need not shoulder the burden and hurt alone, He will hold you tight in His arms, sheltering you when you are tired, strengthening you when you are weak. He is always there for us, waiting on us to come to Him.
The HARD eucharisteo. Of course there is hard eucharisteo. The crises in our lives refresh our perspectives. They bring us about face with the reality of life that is. A life that when lived for the Lord can be beautiful. If we had everything we ever wanted and nothing was ever broken or lost to us, we would never know the true value of it. We wouldn't know the worth of two good legs, the love in hugs from toddlers, the wisdom in words from grandparents, the value of true friends, the endless love from God our Father.
Celebrating the eucharisteo today while I'm changing diapers, folding clothes, washing dishes, vacuuming, sweeping, wiping runny noses and cuddling with sick kiddos is what gives me the knowledge that even with these smallest details of life I am so blessed. My cup truly runneth over, onto the floor, soaking the carpet and yet it is the most beautiful thing I've ever known.
Out of the darkness I have come, out of sad and lonely places that I was. He created me, He knows the number of hairs on my head (even the grays), He knows the plans He has for me. I shall let Him use me, guide me and light my path that I might share with others the great plans He has for them. For if God is with me then who can be against me??? Grace sufficient enough for me, even me...thank you Lord for that!!!
DV ~ NMV